Mums Need Villages Too
The first thing I learned when I became a mum was that motherhood is isolating. You make those first phone calls; you post adorable photos and videos; you are mother, hear you roar; and everyone is there to rally around you.
As time goes on, you’re still posting those photos, only now others are less interested and the phone has become less of a device for well-wishes and more of a time bomb threatening your 30 minutes of peace and you don’t want anyone to pop by, because that would mean putting on a shirt.
And then even more time goes on and you are fully entrenched in motherhood now, you officially have your act together, so says society, no longer entitled to that new mum support network and yet you still feel so alone. We forget these mums with their invisible struggles and we don’t consider how far just a little bit of kindness and concern shown to them could mean.
When my oldest child was 2 years old I became a single parent and the term isolated mother was even more prevalent especially because I was stuck at home with my 3 month old daughter.
I was drowning, and no one knew. I was just another single mum struggling to juggle life and motherhood alone, not noteworthy in the slightest.
Yet somehow in the midst of being a mum to a toddler and a baby and being single I found myself deciding that I had to get out of this fog so I joined a gym and enrolled my son in daycare three days a week and hit the gym 5 days a week. I met other mothers, I lost some weight, I got fit, I spoke to adults and my son and daughter got out of the house and met other kids and adults and today, seven months later it’s so much part of our lives that it has been a ritual, a village and has deep connections of friendship for myself and for my children.
We women sure know how to take care of children on our own but it is more than taking care of children that is being a mother and a single one. There is the need of communication, building of relationships and opening yourself to experiences that enrich, support and educate not only us as mothers but our children and as mothers are we not here to give our children the best? Sometimes the best is giving them a village to support you that supports them.
I imagine a society like the one I have built, supportive of one another no matter what style of parenting your doing! The idea that we raise one another up instead of tearing or wearing each other down. We all need one another, for solidarity and support and no one is more suited than other mums. I suggest that when we see one another dragging, strangers or not, we ne
ed to lighten each others load however we can. It takes a village to raise a mother. And a nice cup of coffee helps too.
By Wilhelmina Ford
Founder of Parenting Reimagined
Photo Courtesy Of Wilhemina and her children